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This mother of 12 year old Lisa, a vehicular homicide victim, asks us to remember her daughter who not only loved life but loved this peace symbol as well.
“All human life has its seasons, and no one’s personal chaos can be permanent: winter, after all does not last forever does it? There is summer, too, and spring, and though sometimes when branches stay dark and the earth cracks with ice, one thinks they will never come, that spring, that summer, but they do, and always."
T.Capote
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Why This Program
Why do people come to the Survivors of Violent Loss Program?
Because as they learn about our program, they realize that we have specialized in this type of loss and begin to trust that we will be able to not only understand what they are experiencing but can also help them.
Because they gain trust that we are not just a group of nice folks who have great compassion for them where they can just drop in and open their hearts. They learn that our program has been under development for over twenty years now. The team of professionals read what leaders in the field are finding and what participants teach them. Changes are made to pull together a cautious approach whose first task is to aid in regaining the use of their own abilities to calm themselves down.
Because they meet others with similar losses and feel that they belong. They know others in the group know the kind of pain they are dealing with. They also come to not judge anyone's losses as better or worse, that everyone has great pain from such horrific loss.
Because, in addition to the counseling services available they can meet each other at various points in the year and help participate in picnics, speak at candlelight vigils, help with fundraising activities, submit poems and post coping tips on the website, support each other at court, share examples of victim impact statements when someone new has one to prepare.
Because they are provided with feedback, an objective measure, of their progress from the screenings they complete.
Because they want to help others and are afforded volunteer opportunities and contacts to help new members of a club, no one wants to be a member of.
One co-victim wrote whose mother was one of the north park senior victims and volunteers her time says: Why she comes to our program:
Because: "WHAT other program exists and services exists? This field is hopelessly overneeded and undersupplied. To the best of my knowledge and belief, the nearest program like this (more or less) is three hours of heavy traffic away from San Diego."
In answering how this program differs she states:
"...most psychologists and psychiatrists and licensed clinical social workers haven't a clue about the inner mayhem that murder creates, or how to deal with it. This program at least has the advantage of being led my someone who has had a murder in her family and knows exactly what we are about, and went way out of her way to get the training and establish this program."
Connie Saindon, MFT Founder
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